I’m going to switch up my stories a bit and pull a few random events that occurred when I was young. Still entertaining. In this case, this is the earliest memory of my life.

    I tell people that my earliest memory was from when I was two or three years old. Some people are surprised by that. I remember talking to a coworker who said she couldn’t remember before she was ten. That’s kind of a bummer. I lived a lot of my life before I was ten!
    Anyway, I remember that I still slept in a crib with sides, though I was able to crawl over the side and step down. I knew that I’d get in trouble if I jumped out of my crib and ran around at 4 AM, when my parents were still sleeping, so I always asked permission. By yelling out from inside my crib.
    “Can I get up!”
    My mom would yell back. “No! It’s too early.”
    So I’d fidget around, bored to death. In retrospect, I should have sneaked out and played quietly. But, I was a kid and quiet was not part of my make-up.
    Next to my crib was a short chest of drawers and the top was about half-way to the top of the railing on the crib. On top of that was a small lamp. This was the typical lamp with a incandescent bulb (the only kind you could buy in the early 60’s) and a tiny knob that turned. The knob clicked when it turned on and I knew exactly how to operate that thing. Little did I know that I would soon be showing my aptitude for becoming an electronics technician.
    One day, the lamp had been off and it was getting light outside (the sun was up). I messed around with the bulb and soon discovered that you could twist the thing until it came out of the socket. I looked inside the socket and stuck my finger down in to feel the contacts inside. Of course, I didn’t know what those were for. So I turned the knob and stuck my finger in again.
Yikes!
    My hand jerked out and that hurt. I turned the knob and tried it again. This time I was a little more careful to only lightly touch the inside.
Nothing happened.
    I turned the knob again. Then I dared myself to stick my finger inside the socket. I carefully lowered my finger until it touched the contact. That time I got a really good jolt and decided that I didn’t want to do that anymore. So I put the light bulb back in and never messed with that thing again.
    Decades later, I told my dad about that incident and he said: “You little shit.” And laughed at me. Yeah, don’t think that a two or three-year-old can’t figure out how to remove a bulb from a lamp and stick their finger inside. I'm living proof that they can.
    And that is my earliest memory.

    Feel free to leave your earliest memory in the comments if you'd like.